


Desolation

by IlaikHeda



Category: My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mental Health Issues, This is obviously not based on anything in real life, World War III
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:34:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21812224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IlaikHeda/pseuds/IlaikHeda
Summary: It’s not like the US government just told them they were now officially part of the Military and that they would be sent to go fight in the war. It’s completely stupid to think that would happen to a group of teenagers. But it did.
Relationships: Brendon Urie/Dallon Weekes, Dallon Weekes/Nicole Row, Gerard Way/Frank Iero, Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie, Sarah Orzechowski/Spencer Smith
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

There’s never been a time where there hasn’t been war Ryan’s life. He grew up with the sounds of airplanes flying in the sky above him. It used to scare him when he was little, but eventually it became comforting in a weird, twisted way. His dad once told him that the planes were once used to carry people all across the world, but since the war started, they had to stop. It made Ryan want to learn more about it, so he would go to the library-or what was left of it. A couple years ago, the police started guarding the building. They wouldn’t let certain people in, and that’s how Ryan’s career as a thief started. Since he was about nine years old, he would steal. It was never anything of significance at first. It was just small things he wanted, but couldn’t afford. Then as he got older, it turned into big things. One time, his high school had to call his father to tell him that Ryan had stolen a car. To be honest, that stolen car was how he became friends with Brendon. 

Brendon had never paid him any attention. Then in their freshman year of high school, Brendon saw his stolen car, and Brendon admitted that he that it was pretty cool what he did. Brendon then had Ryan meet all of his friends, Dallon, Spencer, Nicole, and Sarah. They all became fast friends, and Ryan quickly noticed how all of them were like him. They did bad things to make up for the lack of things they had. Brendon, was the only one who wasn’t doing things like that on his free time. Then, Brendon suggested they all join ROTC. He said that the police were after them, and this was the only way to get them out of trouble. They all agreed. So, not even a year later, Ryan is sitting in the tiny classroom of his shitty school, trying to pay attention to what his teacher is saying. He hears the intercom crackle to life.

“Ryan Ross, Brendon Urie, Dallon Weekes, Spencer Smith, Nicole Row, and Sarah Orzechowski to the principal's office,” a bored voice says. Ryan looks down at his notes, as he feels his cheeks heat up. He hates being called down to the office, especially when all of his friends get called down too. Slowly, he closes his binder, and stuffs it in his old backpack. He stands up and walks to the front of the room, aware of all his classmates eyes on him. He slips out the door, and immediately sees Nicole.

“Ryan,” Nicole calls out with a wave. Ryan smiles at her. She always seems to be happy, which makes everyone’s moods better. She smiles, and runs down the hallway to where he is standing. Today, she is wearing her military cargo pants with her combat boots, and a black tank top. Her long blonde hair isn’t up in a ponytail today. She looks good, and he looks down at himself. He’s wearing a pair of black ripped jeans, and a black t-shirt. Man, he wishes he could dress as nice as Nicole does. She doesn’t try that hard, and yet she always looks amazing.

“Hi Nicole,” Ryan greets her with a smile. They start walking down the hallway to the main office. It’s not too far of a walk for them since they were on the same level as the office is. She glances at Ryan. He doesn’t look at her, but instead focuses on the dirty floor. There has to be months of dirt on the floor. At the beginning of his freshman year, the school had to fire a lot of the janitors because they couldn’t afford to pay them. Their school wasn’t great to begin with. Before the war started seventeen years ago, the school had many lawsuits filed against them. Most were about students being harassed by teachers, but some were because students were being sexually harassed or abused. Overall, Ryan can’t understand how the school is still open, or how people still pay money for their kids to go to this shithole. 

“Why do you think we’re going down to the office this time?” Nicole asks softly, as the turn a corner in the hallway. Ryan thinks for a second. What could they have possibly done this time? The military said that if they needed to contact them, they would wait until after school.

“I have no idea,” Ryan replies. They walk down a half-flight of stairs, and into the main office. Ryan immediately sees Brendon and Dallon. They look worried, which can’t be good. Nicole nudges his arm, and he looks around the room. There are close to ten military officers. They are hold their guns across their chest; not pointed at anything, but ready should anything happen. Fear starts to spread through his body. Why in the hell is the military here? He hears footsteps behind him, and he turns around to see Spencer and Sarah. Spencer seems angry. His eyes are slightly narrowed, and his shoulders are tight.

“Why the fuck are we here? You said you’d never contact us at school!” Spencer yells at one of the officers. The officer doesn’t even look at him. Spencer is almost known for his short temper, but this time, his outburst is uncalled for. 

“Watch your language!” Ryan hears the Dean shout. He emerges from his office, and stares down Spencer. The Dean looks pissed. His usually tucked-in shirt, is not tucked in at all, and he isn’t wearing a tie. Behind him, their ROTC leader, Jon Walker, walks to them. 

“I’m not doing anything for you!” Spencer says angerly at the Dean. The Dean tries to lunge at him, but Jon grabs his bicep before he could get very far. 

“You have no authority to hurt him. If you continue to try to hurt him, we have authorization to shoot you. Now please, back away from them,” Jon says in a calm voice. He lets go of the Deans arm, and he backs away from them in fear. Jon turns to Ryan and his friends. The seed of fear in him is slowly growing. 

“I know we said we’d never contact you at school, but we need to talk. The President is requesting military presence at D.C.,” Jon explains. He looks like hell, Ryan realizes. He has bags under his eyes, and his hair is messy. His uniform is the only thing about him that makes him look put-together. 

“We aren’t in the military though,” Brendon says in defense. He gives a Ryan a panicked look. Ryan shrugs his shoulders back. He can’t feel bad for Brendon right now. He has his own problems to worry about. What about his dad? He can’t just leave him. Ryan is the way he gets food and water. Without him his dad will die. 

“Of course they aren’t! You have no reason to take them out of this school! Isn’t that what I told you earlier?” The Dean sneers at Jon. He sighs in annoyance, but turns to face him. 

“If you would listen to me, you would know that I have a letter from the President that specifically requests all of their presences at D.C. Shut the fuck up so I can explain this to them,” Jon all but growls in the Dean’s face. Again, Jon faces them. Ryan laughs inwardly. No one likes the Dean because he thinks he own the school. He purposefully seeks out the students that are barely breaking the rules. If a student doesn’t follow the dress code to the fine print, he’ll give them a detention. It’s stupid, really. Everyone at this school breaks rules far greater than the dress code, and he doesn’t do shit about it. Students are constantly getting into fights with each other and teachers, and Ryan hasn’t seen anything done to fix it. 

“I understand that you aren’t technically part of the military, but since you all are ranked top in the country, the President is now considering you as part of it. Trust me, I wasn’t happy when I found out; in fact, I tried everything in my power to get you guys out of this, but the President isn’t giving in. Ryan, I know your father depends on you to pick up your food bags every week, so I’ll have someone pick them up for him. Brendon, the same goes for your family. I’m sorry that I couldn’t help you guys more,” Jon says. He looks at them with sad eyes. Ryan looks down at his feet. He was going to try to use the excuse of his father not being able to get food so he could possibly stay back, but he supposes that won’t work anymore. It’s not okay to enlist a group of kids in the military. 

“This is bullshit,” Sarah mumbles under her breath. 

“No kidding. Do our parents know about this?” Dallon asks. 

“I believe they do,” Jon replies. He pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket, and hands it to Brendon. He unfolds it and reads it. Ryan waits impatiently, and when Brendon is done, Ryan takes the paper from him. 

Mr. Jon Walker,  
Many good things have been said about your ROTC program. Your program is one of the top in our Nation. In two weeks, a rally is being held in Washington D.C., and every extra military personnel we can spare will be there. With your group being top in the country, I am requesting you bring them with you. I will send personal letters to their families explaining what will be happening. As soon as you get this letter, please get your group and come to Washington D.C.  
Mr. President

Ryan hands the letter to Nicole. He can’t believe this. What kind of rally could the president be holding? People are afraid to go out of their houses, and the President expects people to be there. 

“Jon, when are we leaving?” Ryan asks. 

“Right now. If you need to get anything from your lockers, now is the time to do that,” Jon says. Sarah steps forward to hand the letter back to Jon. Ryan turns on his heel and walks out of the office. He starts running once he’s up the steps. He doesn’t know where he’s running, all he knows is that he needs to get away. It pisses him off that the hallway is so short because he has to stop. He sees his locker a few feet away, and decides to see if he should bring anything. Slowly, he walks to his locker. Opening it, he sees his binders and notebooks. He grabs one of the notebooks that looks like it hasn’t been used yet. It makes him sad to see this for the last time, and he doesn’t know why. He should be happy to never see this place again. He slams his locker closed, not caring about the classes that are going on. He begins to walk back to the office, when he sees Brendon leaning against his locker with his head in his hands. Ryan jogs to him, suddenly worried. 

“Brendon?” Ryan asks quietly. He gently places a hand on Brendon’s shoulder. He lifts his head. Ryan is greeted with sad eyes. He’s never seen Brendon upset, and it makes him almost uncomfortable. Usually, Brendon is the one who doesn’t show emotion; he’s the one who makes sure they all stay focused on the task they’re doing. 

“I’m fine,” he says plainly. Ryan can see through the lie, and he’s sure Brendon knows that he can. 

“You aren’t, so what’s wrong?” 

“I can’t leave my family, Ryan. My mom can’t take care of the family while my dad is at work. Once he’s home, everything falls apart. No one can stand up to him like I can,” Brendon says quietly. He looks at Ryan. 

“What do you mean stand up to your dad?” Ryan asks with a sick feeling in his stomach. 

“My dad is abusive,” Brendon whispers through tears. He quickly wipes them away with the back of his hand. “What if he kills them?”

“Brendon-”

“I don’t need your sympathy. I-”

“Shut up. I was going to say that they could stay with my dad,” Ryan snaps. He immediately regrets it. 

“I’m sorry. Maybe they could. Are you sure your dad would be okay with that?”

“He’s lonely. And, it’s not like your family are strangers.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to Jon about it. Thank you, Ryan,” Brendon says earnestly. Ryan nods his head in acknowledgement, and removes his hand from his shoulder. Brendon opens his locker, and pulls out a book and a couple notebooks. He too slams his locker closed. They walk towards the office once again, only this time, it’s the last time they’ll probably ever do it. With Brendon by his side, it seems to make this better. When they get back to the office, they see that they’re the last ones to get back. 

“We need to leave as soon as possible. Do you have everything you want from here?” Jon asks. Ryan shakes his head. He’s worried about talking to Jon about his dad. The only person he’s talked to about his dad was Brendon. Jon gives him a puzzling look, but when he sees the look of trouble on Ryan’s face, he seems to understand. “Ryan, come with me,” Jon responds. He walks down a hallway with doors leading to the offices of the people who work in the school office. Ryan follows him, but turns his head to make sure Brendon is behind him. He is. Jon walks into this small office that Ryan has never seen before. It’s got to be no bigger than ten feet by ten feet. There is a work desk pushed up against the right wall with a computer and stacks of paper on it. Once they are all in the room, Jon shuts the door. 

"Jon-”

"Ryan, I’m sorry, but you have to make this quick. Brendon, why are you here?” Jon states. He seems to be getting agitated. It dawns on Ryan that Jon could be anxious about going to D.C. That maybe he’s just as scared as everyone else is.

"My family can’t stay with my dad,” Brendon snaps. He sounds like he’s tired of hiding this from people. Maybe Ryan’s wrong. Maybe Brendon isn’t tired of anything, but he’s just tired of Jon. The thought makes Ryan want to laugh. 

"Why’s that?”

"My dad hits them. I’m scared he’s going to kill them if I’m not there. Ryan said they could stay with his dad,” Brendon rushes out. His cheeks are tinted with pink. Ryan can understand if he’s embarrassed.

"Ryan, do you think your dad will care?” Jon asks. Ryan shakes his head. 

"Fine. I’ll send some officers to bring them to Ryan’s house. We really do need to leave now,” Jon says urgently. He walks out of the office, leaving the boys to only follow him. Ryan is pissed. That wasn’t how that conversation was supposed to go. Jon was supposed to give them reassurance, not tell them that he’d send officers. They all know that‘s a shit lie. Police and military ore spread too thin to be worried about domestic violence, so why would they make an exception for Brendon’s family? 

“Ryan, what am I supposed to do now?” Brendon asks in a panicked voice. He stops Ryan by grabbing his upper arm. Deep down, he feels bad for his friend, but he can’t openly admit how worried he is. It would only make things worse. 

“I don’t know, but there isn’t anything we can do now,” Ryan mumbles. He looks up into Brendon’s eyes, and he immediately regrets it. He doesn’t expect to see that Brendon is on the verge of tears, but yet he does. The look in his friend’s eyes hurts him because it makes this situation so much more real. 

“That seems to be a pretty fucking common theme right now,” Brendon spits out. 

“What do you mean?”

“That there isn’t anything we can do to end this fucking war, Ryan.”

Oh. Why is Brendon right, though? Why can’t we win this war. It’s been over seventeen years-surely the government would have a way to fix this. Hell, it’s the governments job to fix this kind of stuff. “You’re right. We should probably go now,” Ryan replies quietly. Brendon nods in agreement, and together, they walk down the hallway back to the main office. The military officers are still in there, probably waiting for them, but the rest of them are gone. Just as they’re about to leave the office, the bell rings, and the hallway outside of the office is filled with students. Most of them probably have no idea of what’s going on. They just go about their day. Ryan and Brendon step out into the crowded hallway, some kids move out of their way, but some ignore them. The military officers follow behind them, but three of them push their way in front of them, and that’s when the kids start to move away. Ryan watches as a scary amount of kids stop and pull out their phones to record what’s happening. It must look odd to see two high school students being escorted out of the school with ten military officers. Thankfully, the front doors aren’t too far away. As they step out the doors, the warm autumn air floods him. It’s like he’s free of one thing, only to be held prisoner as another. The officers lead them to a convoy along the main circle. One vehicle has a door open, waiting for Ryan and Brendon. Silently, they both climb in. 

It’s weird to think that this is the last time he’ll ever see this place, but it’s also comforting. He’s not going to have to worry about whether or not someone will try to hurt him or his friends. He looks at his friends, who all have similar expressions on their faces. Fear. Why wouldn’t they be scared? It’s not like the US government just told them they were now officially part of the military and that they had to go to Washington D.C. to make sure everything goes well at a rally the President is holding. It’s stupid to think that would happen to a group of teenagers. But it did.

“So, what do we do now?” Dallon asks quietly, almost like he’s afraid of being overheard. Spencer just ignores him, but Sarah gives him a small, sympathetic look. 

“We wait for what tomorrow brings,” Ryan replies quietly. He leans back in his seat, and leans his head against the window. His school fades from sight, and it’s like a weight has been lifted from his chest. He wishes that things could be different. That he didn’t have to leave to go to war. That he could stay with his dad. But sometimes, you have to accept that you live in a nightmare, and no matter how hard you try to wake up...you can’t.


	2. Chapter 2

Ryan isn’t sure how long it took them to get to the airport. He’s never been there before, so his judgement was a little off, but they also had to take multiple detours because of roads being blocked off. The convoy eventually stops by a runway with a cargo plane on it. Military personnel are running or walking about, taking care of tasks they were told to do. 

“What do you think is on that plane?” Nicole asks curiously. She peers out the window. 

“Weapons? Troops?” Brendon replies absentmindedly. He’s writing something in his notebook, but snaps it closed when Ryan tilts his head towards it. He’s now curious what Brendon has been working on. 

“I don’t know what else it could be,” Dallon chimes in. The door to their truck opens, and Ryan sees Jon looking up at them with an expressionless face. It worries Ryan how Jon seems to just turn off his emotions. 

“Time to go,” Jon tells them. He steps aside so they can all get out. Ryan climbs out first. He makes sure that his backpack is slung over his shoulder before he looks around the tarmac in fascination. He’s only dreamed about seeing this stuff in person. The airplane is bigger than Ryan thought it would be. He’s only seen pictures of the small passenger jets. The one in front of him is massive. The wings have two huge jets on them, and the bottom part of the plane is open so trucks can load the plane. He’s aware that he probably looks like an idiot just standing there with his mouth hanging open in awe. But he doesn’t care. 

“Hey Ryan, we’re leaving,” Brendon gently tells him. Ryan closes his mouth and looks to his left where Brendon is standing in his black jeans and red t-shirt. He has his bag slung over his shoulder. Ryan starts walking with Brendon following by his side. “You seem pretty interested by this stuff,” Brendon comments as they walk to the hangar. 

“I kind of am. My dad’s told me stories about how he used to fly before the war. It was something he got to do with my mom,” Ryan explains sadly. He remembers almost every story his dad told him about the adventures his mom and dad used to go on. His dad used to tell him about this place in Australia where the lakes were pink, and the sunsets were the prettiest. It’s a place he’s always wanted to go because of how special it was to his dad. Maybe if Ryan went, he could feel closer to his mom. 

“I think it’s cool how your parents got to do that before the war,” Brendon says. He glances at Ryan with a small smile. Ryan gives one back.

“Yeah, it is,” Ryan replies as they walk through the doors of the hangar. The building is huge-at least four stories tall. He can tell that the military is using it as some sort of base. There are vehicles and rows of guns on tables. Military men and women are walking about, some taking inventory, while some are just walking about. Jon leads them to a table in the back-left corner of the hangar. The table has several backpacks on it. They were stuffed full of god only knows what too. Jon silently hands them each a pack. Ryan is surprised at how much the damn thing weighs. Has to be at least fifteen pounds. 

“What’s in here?” Nicole asks Jon. He shrugs, but four other men walk up to them. They are all wearing their full uniform. 

“It has your uniforms, and some MRE’s and some other stuff,” one of the men says. Ryan looks at his uniform, searching for a name patch. Surprisingly, there isn’t one. There is just a blank army jacket staring back at him. The man seems to notice him staring because he clears his throat. Ryan looks up at his face. He notices how he has a sharp jaw line, with hollow eyes. They seem tired. Worn out. His hair, on the other hand, is dyed white. Not the white that old people have, but a bright white. Like snow. It makes his hazel eyes not so dull.

“I’m Gerard Way,” Gerard says plainly. He doesn’t stick his hand out so Ryan-or anyone else-can shake it. His hands stay by his side. 

“I’m Mikey, Gerard’s younger brother,” Mikey says with a smile. He’s tall, and resembles his brother in his face. They both have sharp jaw lines. Mikey doesn’t move his arms from his side either. Maybe it’s an army thing. Not shaking people's hands. 

“I’m Frank Iero,” a short guy, Frank, says. He has tattoos up the sides of his neck, and Ryan supposes that he probably has a lot more. Frank also has two lip piercings. There are small rings around his bottom lip. It makes him look intimidating. 

“I’m Ray Toro, and these idiots clearly don’t know how to talk to new people,” Ray tells them with a smile. Ryan looks around at his friends. None of them seem to know what to do, so they’re just standing there. It makes Ryan feel better because he truly doesn’t know what to do. He’s fine with meeting new people, and in fact, he loves meeting new people. But when he’s in a place he doesn’t know and he has to meet people that will probably end up dead before the war ends-no he doesn’t know what to do. 

“I’m Brendon, and this is Ryan, Dallon, Nicole, Spencer, and Sarah,” Brendon says as he points to the people he names. Ryan gives the men a faint smile when he hears his name. Gerard gives him a small smile back. It gives him a boost of confidence. 

“Andy told us to come get you guys so we can fly to D.C.,” Gerard tells them. He looks at Jon, who nods his head. “Right, so basically what’s going to happen is we’re going to go to D.C. for a rally, and then most of us are going to be sent to the war from there.” He looks like he’s holding back some sort of emotion. Sadness more than likely. With most soldiers they have to leave their family behind. No letters. No contact. That’s how this war is. 

Ryan remembers when his mom left for the war when he was only six years old. His mom hugged him outside of his house. Her uniform was scratchy against his bare arms. He never wanted to let go of her. She was the nicest person in his life. She would never hesitate to help him with homework, or to play with him. He feels his mother gently push him away. “Ryan,” she says wistfully. She holds him at arms length. It seems like she’s afraid that if she holds Ryan again, she won’t let go. 

“Mommy. Don’t leave,” Ryan cries. Hot tears fall down his cheeks. His mother smiles at him sadly. Her usually bright eyes are dull. They’re full of sadness, and anger. No love. No happiness. No hope. 

“I’ll be home before you know it,” she tells him with a fake smile that Ryan believed. He believed that his mother would be home. That’s what kids are supposed to do. They’re supposed to have hope, and be happy. Ryan was that kind of kid. He would laugh and play while his mother was gone. That’s when he became friends with Elizabeth. He saw her outside reading a book. The sun made her golden-brown hair seem to glow. Ryan stopped in front of her and sits down, curious about who this pretty girl was. 

“I’m Ryan.” The girl looks up at him with big brown eyes. Ryan glances down to watch her close her book. It looks like a children's book. One that mothers read to their kids before bed. Why would she be reading that outside? Why wouldn’t she wait for her mom to read it to her tonight? Ryan wishes that his mom could read him a story tonight. It’s the fifth month she’s been gone, and his dad doesn’t read stories as well as she does. He reads the different voices weirdly. Not how his mom read them. 

“I’m Elizabeth,” the pretty girl says. “Why are you outside?”

“I’m bored.”

“Oh. My parents won’t let me leave the driveway. They tell me it’s not safe outside,” Elizabeth says sadly. Ryan looks back to her eyes.

“My dad doesn’t care where I go.”

“What about your mom?”

“She’s fighting in the war,” Ryan explains. Elizabeth looks at him with sad eyes. It’s like she’s lost someone too. Tears prick the back of his eyes. There isn’t ever a moment that he doesn’t think about his mom. Even now, ten years later, he still thinks about her. Do other soldiers think about the people that haven’t come home from war every day? Maybe that’s why Gerard’s eyes look so sad. 

“I wish there was more time, but the plane is leaving in half an hour. We need to board,” Jon says. He grabs his pack off the ground, and walks out of the bunker. Frank shrugs and follows him. The rest of the group walks behind Frank. Ryan looks around the hangar again. He’s surprised at how much the military is able to fit in the building. Aside from the rows of weapons, there are barracks set up behind them. This place, is a home to some people now. 

Ryan doesn’t remember if he’s ever had anxiety before. He doesn’t know if his hands are clammy and shaking because he’s scared-or what? What else could Ryan Ross possibly be feeling right now? He looks at his friends. None of them seem anxious about this. The cargo plane that Ryan had been staring at earlier is now looming up at him. Like a monster getting ready to carry him to his death. To a place no one but war can follow. Jon walks up the open back of the plane like he’s done this before. Like he knows what to expect. Hell, he probably does. He’s fought overseas before. He can’t help but wonder if this is what his mother did before she was brought to her death. Did she walk up this metal monster? 

“Ryan?” he hears someone ask. He doesn’t particularly care who said it, but whoever did place a hand on his shoulder. Glancing to his right he sees Brendon. Of course, it’s Brendon. He’s the only person, aside from Nicole and sometimes Dallon, who enjoys physical contact. He gives his friend a sad smile, hoping that he’ll let his shoulder go, but he firmly keeps his hand there. It should irritate Ryan, but it comforts him. But it shouldn’t. 

“Yeah?” Ryan doesn’t really want to talk to anyone. If he did, Brendon would ask him why he looks so sad. And then Ryan would have to tell him why. He isn’t ready to talk about his feelings with anyone. Except Brendon because he already knows why he’s upset. He knows about his mom. He knows thanks to Ryan getting drunk. It’s the alcohols fault, really. That poison made him tell Brendon about the day his mom left. About the day he found out his mom had died. It was nine years since she left. Nine god-damn years. She promised that she would come home, and she never broke a promise in her life. Except she did. She lied to Ryan. But when he told Brendon, he wasn’t completely drunk. He had only had one beer. One...which means that he willingly told Brendon about his mom. Brendon wasn’t that drunk either. He hadn’t even finished his first beer. 

“You seem...distant,” Brendon says quietly. They make their way to the front of the plane where there are rows of chairs. Some have people in them, but some don’t. Brendon pulls him to the wall of the plane where there are two empty seats. They both throw their bags haphazardly on the floor. It’s dark in this area of the plane. There are small lights hanging from the ceiling, giving off a yellow glow. Sitting down, Ryan looks at Brendon with sad eyes. For most of Ryan’s life he’s dealt with some kind of mental health issue. Depression was the most common one, but insomnia was sadly common for him too. He can’t recall how many times he wasn’t able to sleep because all he could think about was his mom. It got better once he met Brendon and his friends. They were a distraction that Ryan desperately needed.

“I am.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Such an innocent question. 

“Yeah. That would be nice, actually. Um-you know about my mom, right?” Ryan asks. He’s taking a risk-talking to Brendon about his issues. He’s never talked about his feelings openly before. The alcohol made him one time. Only it didn’t. Why can’t he admit to himself that he wants to talk about how he feels? He trusts Brendon. He really does.

“That she died in the war, but that’s about it,” Brendon admits. He removes his hand from Ryan’s shoulder. 

“I’ve never really talked about her before,” he mumbles. He can feel and hear the back end of the plane begin to close. It’s loud-the back closing. Metal scratches against metal, making this awful sound. It makes his ears hurt. But then it’s over, and the plane starts to roll forward. The plane rumbles as Ryan feels it gain speed. Then, a pressure on his waist. It’s gone a few moments later. He’s flying, he realizes. Actually flying. Brendon looks at Ryan in shock. He’s flying too. 

“No one really talks about their family going to the war.”

“I know. I just-my mom promised she would come home, and she didn’t. I was so mad at her, Brendon. She had never broken a promise before,” Ryan tells him sadly. His dad, for the longest time, ignored that his mom was dead. He still wrote letters to her, even when Ryan left. Would he write letters to Ryan? Or would he pretend that Ryan was still there? His mom broke his dad’s brain. It’s messed up really. Two people who love each other can easily break the other person without meaning to. 

“It broke my dad,” Ryan continues. Brendon continues to hold his gaze with him. It comforts Ryan.

“Same thing happened when my brother left. Only, he came home with fucked up legs. My mom doesn’t know what to do with him,” Brendon admits. Ryan can safely assume that Brendon hasn’t talked about this before. He’s more open than Ryan is, but he still keeps to himself. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. This is about you, not me.” Ryan laughs. It sounds off. Too loud in this metal monster. A few people in uniform glance at him. He notices Dallon smiling at him. He turns his attention back to Brendon. “What?” Brendon asks defensively. 

“It shouldn’t be just about one person. You know, I’ve come to realize that people need to talk about how they feel.” Now it’s Brendon’s turn to laugh. Ryan smiles. He is a hypocrite, and he knows it. 

“You’re one to talk, Ryan Ross,” Brendon says through a smile. Any anxiety he was feeling is now gone. 

“I know. I’m trying.”

“I know you are.” Brendon replies quietly. Ryan looks over a few rows of chairs to see Dallon and Nicole in a conversation. They both have a smile on their face. He sees Spencer and Sarah at the other side of the plane. Sarah has her head on Spencer’s shoulder. Spencer, on the other hand, has a book open. Ryan wonders which one it is. 

“Do you think we’re coming home?” Ryan asks randomly. His mind keeps on drifting to the promise his mom made all those years ago. He looks back at Brendon to see that his eyes are wide. He probably wasn’t expecting that kind of question. Who would? His mom, maybe. Did she ask the same thing to one of her friends? It suddenly dawns on Ryan-he never made that promise to anyone. No one- not even his dad. 

“I don’t know about you, but I plan on coming home,” Brendon jokes. Ryan smiles. 

“Me too,” Ryan agrees. And he means it too. He wants to come home. Make sure his dad is okay. He wants to see his home again, and his shitty school. Every teacher that has ever told him that he can’t do anything with his life, is wrong. He’s doing everything with his life. What could be worth more than protecting people? 

“Then let’s come home, Ryan. Let’s find some way to come home. “

“How do you suppose we do that?”

“We do everything the President wants. We...god I don’t know. We could try to sign a contract?” Brendon says the last part as a question. Would the President allow that? Is that how war works?

“It’s worth a try,” Ryan agrees.


	3. Chapter 3

Jon walks down the aisle of the plane silently. Ryan watches him curiously as he stops about halfway down. 

“We’re going to be landing in about twenty minutes,” Jon announces. Not many people acknowledge what he just said. Ryan, was one of those people. He felt the plane start to descend about an hour ago. Ryan watches as Jon silently turns on his heel, and walk back to the chair he was sitting in. Beside him, Brendon closes the book in his lap. The book looks new, and Ryan wonders when Brendon got it. Since Ryan was just a little kid, factories didn’t print any new books. It was a waste of resources according to the government. And they needed those factories to mass produce weapons, and shit like that. 

“What book is that?” Ryan asks. He can’t find a title on the book. Odd. 

“Band of Brothers. It’s about the 101st Airborne Division in World War 2,” Brendon explains as he slides the book back in his bag. Vaguely, Ryan remembers learning about the World Wars in school. There wasn’t supposed to be any wars past World War 1. That was the “War to End All Wars.” So, what the hell happened that two more world wars happened?

“What did the Airborne Division do?”

“They were trained to parachute out of airplanes in World War 2. A whole division was created around those trained soldiers.”

“Interesting,” Gerard mumbles. “How did you get a book like that?” Ryan expects his friend to shrug and not answer. That’s how questions like that usually get answered. Even if you didn’t steal anything, you didn’t answer. He learned that the hard way when he wore one of his mom’s old army jackets. He was sent to the principal's office, and was asked where he got it. He told the truth, and almost got the police called on him. Regular civilians weren’t supposed to wear army gear in any way, shape or form, unless they were in the military. 

“I stole it from my great-grandfather,” Brendon whispers. Ryan looks at him with a surprised expression. Brendon stole a book from someone in his family? He usually wouldn’t do something like that. 

“Brendon?! Does he know you took it?”

“Fuck no. He’d kill me if he knew I had this.’’

“Then why did you take it?” Brendon looks down at his empty hands. He looks sad; like he’s remembering a bad memory. 

“This was the closest thing that would tell me what war is like,” Brendon admits. He picks his bag up off the floor so he can put it on his lap. Ryan does the same thing just as the plane lands on the runway. The plane shakes as it comes to a stop. Ryan stands up before the plane stops moving, but he doesn’t care. It’s not like he is going to fall. The aisle he walks down in narrow, with barely enough for his to walk without turning his hips. He stops by where Dallon is sitting. His friend is resting his head on Nicole’s shoulder. She looks up at him with a smile, before shoving Dallon’s head off of her.

“Hey!” Dallon mumbles in protest. 

“Don’t ‘hey’ me. I think it’s time to go,” Nicole laughs as she grabs her and Dallon’s bag from the floor. Dallon takes his bag from Nicole and stands up. He shuffles out to the aisle behind Ryan. None of the other people in the plane have gotten up yet, which is odd to Ryan. Shouldn’t they be getting ready to get off the plane? Ryan walks down the aisle until he comes to the cockpit. The door is open, revealing a small room with tons of switches and buttons and lights. There are two men inside the cockpit, who are quietly talking among themselves. Ryan debates if he should try to get their attention to see if they can open the door. Then, of all god damn people, Jon walks up next to him. 

“I assume you want to get out?” Jon questions. Ryan looks at him with a blank stare. 

“Why else would we be over here?” Dallon asks. 

“I don’t know. To say hi?” Jon jokes. He gives them a weak smile. He then adds, “We have to wait for authorization before we can open the door. It shouldn’t be too much longer.” 

When Jon says not too much longer, he actually meant five minutes. That’s got to be the fastest the military has ever been. Ryan remembers when they first joined ROTC, they had to wait seven months before they could start training. Jon later explained that they had to make sure they weren’t criminals. Which is funny, because they all were criminals. They all stole-even Brendon, who claims he never has. Ryan caught him stealing some food. And his book. 

When the door to the plane opens, sunlight streams through, momentarily blinding Ryan. Through squinted eyes, Ryan can make out military personnel waiting for them to walk out. Jon grabs his pack off of the floor, and walks out the door with Ryan and his friends following behind him. Once outside, a man grabs Ryan by his bicep, and is led down the stairs and to the tarmac. To his surprise there aren’t many people outside, just the amount to lead them to the airport. 

“Why do you have to grab my arm?” Ryan asks the man. There is no reason for the man to be grabbing Ryan’s arm. He isn’t going to do anything. That would just be dumb. 

“It’s protocol.”

“Since when? When did it become protocol to grab another soldiers arm lead them to the same god damn place you’re going?” Ryan protests. He doesn’t want to call himself a soldier...but at this point-it's true. 

“Since you came here,” the man answers. It’s not a real answer. It can’t be true unless it’s because this airport is the only airport you can fly into to get to D.C. Since the war started, most of the airports got shut down, or turned into military bases. Very few airports are still used for their original purposes. The man leads Ryan through open doors into the airport. It’s immediately cooler once he’s through the doors, and that’s when the man lets go of his arm. What did the man think Ryan was going to do? Try to run away? Dallon jogs up beside him.

“Ryan. Why did they grab us like that?” Dallon asks. Ryan shrugs. 

“I was told it’s protocol.”

“Seriously? Since when is that protocol?” Dallon questions. Ryan glances at him as they continue to walk through the airport. He looks as confused as he sounds. There are surprising amount of people at the airport. Almost all of the people walking around are just civilians. A scary amount of the people look homeless. They’re laying on the ground against a wall with blankets and bags around them. Ryan wonders if they are waiting for the opportunity to leave. Are they waiting for someone? 

“Since now apparently,” Brendon grumbles. He startles Ryan. How had he not heard Brendon come up behind him? 

“I think that’s really fucking dumb. I mean, it’s not like we’re going to doing anything stupid,” Ryan replies. His two friends laugh. The man leading them turns into a huge door, which at one point, probably led to a storage room. Now, it’s filled with tables with maps on them. It makes him uncomfortable because this place once was meant to carry people to different places. Now, it’s a place to plan war strategies. Jon walks in the room, and slams the door behind him.

“We don’t a have ton of time, so you have to pay attention. The President has put together a rally for anyone who can and wants to go. Your main job is to serve as security. But you also need to pay attention to what the President is saying. He’s going to explain the current status of the war, and what is going to be expected from the Military here and overseas,” Jon explains. Ryan feels like Jon’s eye’s could pierce through metal by how serious they are. A sinking feeling grows in Ryan’s stomach. What if they have to send them overseas? Ryan laughs. All eyes turn to him. 

“What’s so funny?” Spencer asks suspiciously. Ryan smiles. 

“It’s funny to ask ourselves if we’re getting sent overseas,” Ryan replies. Beside him, Brendon ducks his head, probably so he wouldn’t get caught laughing. 

“How is that funny to ask?” Jon snaps. He almost wants to laugh again. 

“Why else would we be here? Cause I’m sure as hell isn’t to train.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re going overseas,” Jon snaps back, but he looks away from Ryan. He’s right, and Jon knows it. There’s no other reason that the President would fly them out to D.C. 

“Right now, your priority is to be a security detail for the rally. We will tell you everything you need to know. In the mean time, you need to change into the uniforms in your packs,” Gerard replies calmly. He opens his pack and starts to strip off his clothes. It doesn’t faze Ryan because this was normal after their training in ROTC. Apparently, Sarah wasn’t used to it, so she starts to yell. 

“Why in the hell would you do that in front of me?” Sarah shrieks. Spencer puts an arm around her-probably to try to comfort her. Gerard steps into his pants, while Frank smiles as he starts to strip. 

“It’s what happens in the Army. Get used to it,” Gerard answers. Everyone else, including Nicole, start to change into their uniform. It doesn’t take long for everyone to get changed. Silently, Jon and Gerard lead their group out of the room. The walk through the airport isn’t any different than when they came in. Homeless people still litter the hallways. People waiting for their loved ones to return from the war. Some of the homeless lift their heads when they walk by, but some run to them. 

“Stay back! We have authorization to shoot to kill if we feel threatened!” Jon shouts. One of the men by them pulls out a knife and runs towards Jon. Gerard raises his gun and shoots the man. Ryan flinches at the bang of the gun. His body falls to the ground, blood gushing out of a hole in his heart. Brendon brushes his fingers against Ryan’s hip. He’s trying to comfort him. They finish walking through the building in silence. 

========

It takes them almost three hours to walk to the White House. On the way, Mikey explained that vehicles are no longer allowed on the roads. The President was afraid that one car or something would become a threat to him. What if one of the cars was really a car bomb? What if there were terrorists in one. So, he decided to ban all vehicle use. When they got to the White House, the police told them to wait until further instruction. Right now, in the front lawn of the White House, Ryan is sitting with Brendon under a tree. Brendon is laying down, with his head resting on Ryan’s thigh. The rest of the group is sitting a couple feet away from them. 

“When do you think the rally will start?” Brendon asks. Ryan looks down at him. He looks peaceful with his eyes look up at the sky, and his hands folded across his stomach. 

“I don’t know. I think it’s stupid to hold a rally.”

“How come? It should help people understand what’s going on in the war. Maybe that’s why we’re here. So we can learn what’s going on.”

“Maybe. I think that we’re here, though, so they can teach us some shit, and then send us over,” Ryan replies as Jon walks over. Ryan lifts his leg up so that Brendon’s head falls off of it. 

“Hey,” Brendon protests. He shoves Ryan as he sits up. Then he notices Jon. 

“People are starting to show for the rally. We are being stationed at the main gate. Remember, keep peace, and hold your position if things get a little rough,” Jon explains. He walks away, leaving them alone again. They both slowly stand up, even though Ryan’s legs protest. They’re stiff from sitting on a plane all day. But, Ryan still stands. It’s technically his job after all. They walk across the grass to the front gate. To his surprise, there are a ton of people that have gathered here. There’s got to be at least three hundred people. Some are holding signs to protest the war, while some are holding signs to support the war. Two Secret Service officers open the gates enough for Ryan and his friends to slip through, then they close again. Ryan takes his position-right hand on the butt of his gun, and left hand by his side. 

“Hello everyone!” the President’s voice says. Someone must have set up speakers beforehand. “I am thankful that you are all here. I would like to take some time now to address where we are in the war. In the South, we are holding our front lines, and in fact, we have captured some land. Currently, our troops are making their way through Central America. In Europe, we are working with France and Britain to hold our lines on the Northern boarder of France. Tensions are high with North Korea, as they have been for years. We are working on a treaty with them. Now, are there any questions?” The crowd erupts with questions, but one lady carefully raises her hand. No sound comes from her lips. He notices that she’s carrying a baby on her hip, who is impossibly asleep. “You!” the Presidents voice booms as he points at the silent lady. She glances at her sleeping baby, then to the president as the crowd silences. 

“Are you aware that in Asia it’s a complete bloodbath? That our troops are being slaughtered as soon as they try to cross into India?” The silent lady asks. She holds eye contact with the President. 

“How do you know about that?”

“My husband found a phone in one of the houses his platoon raided. He told me that they were walking right into the enemy’s hands. Why didn’t you give them aid, or pull them from there?” She looks too young to be married with a kid. She’s got to be no older that eighteen or nineteen years old. She cradles her baby to her chest. 

“As soon as we found out how bad we were doing in Asia, we pulled our troops. They were sent home months ago.” The silent lady hangs her head, as a sob rips through her lips. She sinks to her knees, sobbing at the news of her fallen husband. A thought crosses Ryan’s mind. What if his mom called his dad to tell him that there was no hope? Did she know that she was walking into the enemy with no way to defend herself? He knows that he was the silent lady. He didn’t say anything, but fall to his knees, sobbing about his own fallen mom. Why does war have to make the best people fall? 

“I think we should finish up this rally. We have a solution to our problems. We have found the best trained ROTC members in our country. I have signed off on them going to the countries that are a threat to us to negotiate with them,” the President says. Ryan looks at Brendon. He too looks at Ryan. It’s like he can sense what Brendon is thinking...because he’s thinking the same thing too. The President continues, “I would like to personally thank the Las Vegas ROTC Division. For their protection, I will not be stating any names. They are the solution. People of D.C., please stay safe as you leave this rally. Thank you.” The crowd cheers deafeningly. Ryan’s eyes go wide. 

They were the Las Vegas ROTC Division. And they were going to war.


	4. Chapter 4

After all of the people left the White House, Jon ushered them back inside the gates. He has no emotion on his face, which puts off Ryan. How can he not show any emotion? His damn Division was being sent to war. Once the gates are shut, he starts to talk.

“I didn’t know you’d have to go to Asia,” Jon admits quietly. He looks at Ryan and his friends, then to Gerard and his group. He shoves his hands in his pockets.

“I don’t give a damn about what you did or didn’t know! These kids are not going to Asia. It would be suicide, Jon,” Mikey yells. Jon flinches. 

“I agree with Mikey. Why would you sign off on us going to literal hell?” Spencer yells in Jon’s face. Dallon harshly pulls him back next to him. Spencer tries to fight against Dallon’s grip, but can’t win.

“Like I said, asshole, I didn’t know you’d be going to Asia. All I was told was you’d be going overseas to help with aid and relief. I will even show you the damn contract,” Jon yells back at Spencer. Sarah jogs over to him, so she can put her arm around him. Ryan wants to pull them apart. They don’t have personal space when they’re near each other. It’s like they have to be touching at all times. 

“Stop it! Just stop. If you signed them to go to Asia-” Gerard says as he holds up a hand, cutting Jon off from whatever he was going to say. He continues, “whether you knew it or not. They have to go. It’s a legally binding contract. A group of seven people won’t be sent over alone, even if it’s a Special Op. Mission. We’ll go with you. It’s more protection.” 

It hasn’t registered in Ryan’s head what’s actually happening. Sure, he can hear the words, ‘You’re being sent to Asia,’ but he can’t grasp it. He can’t seem to grasp any of this. Why are kids being sent to Asia? Why was Jon tricked into signing something he didn’t know anything about? It’s fucked up, really. 

“It isn’t right that you have to offer that. It shouldn’t even be a goddamn option,” Nicole growls. She looks scary at the moment. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a tight bun. She’s wearing her camouflage uniform, like everyone else, but she just looks scary. Well, intimidating would be a better word...

“But it is. It’s our job to protect people,” Frank replies. 

“I know it’s your job because it’s ours too. But it you shouldn’t have to offer it because we shouldn’t be sent to Asia,” Nicole says. Jon holds up his right hand.

“I just got a text from the President. It says that we need to be at the tarmac in twenty minutes, and a van will be here momentarily. I know that I fucked things up for all of you, but- Let's just get this over with. It shouldn’t take more than a year, okay?” Jon tells them. A van pulls up to the gates, and it’s so perfectly timed that it seems fake. But Ryan knows that’s not how things work, now. He wishes that it was how it worked, though. Jon grabs his pack from the ground, hoists it over his shoulder, and walks to the gates. The rest of the group does the same. No one makes a sound as they climb into the military vehicles. Brendon climbs into the very back of the vehicle, so Ryan follows him. 

“What’s going to happen to us?” Brendon asks softly. It’s another dumb question. 

“How should I know?” Ryan shrugs like he doesn’t really care. 

“I don’t know. I guess I was hoping for...I don’t even know,” Brendon admits. Both of them are silent for the rest of the drive to the airport. Ryan feels like no one knows how to act. Everyone is silent, and is avoiding talking to each other. That, goes against how the videos are. At ROTC Jon would show them videos of men going off to war. Almost all of the men were smiling and waving at the camera. They were excited to go fight for their country. Now, people dread it. When they pull back into the airport the sun is starting to set. It creates shadows over the tarmac, making it look creepy...haunting even. 

As Ryan gets out of the van, it somewhat hits him. This is more than likely the last time he’ll ever see America. Gerard leads them to another cargo plane, except this time, the plane is bigger-probably made so it can go overseas. What will his dad say when Ryan doesn’t come home from this? Will he carry on with his life, or will he just give up? Whatever his dad does, he doesn’t particularly care. Why should he? All his dad’s ever done for him is wallow in self-pity. As they walk on the plane, Brendon moves over so his shoulder is touching Ryan’s. He likes the contact because it reminds him of where he is now. He’s on a plane that’s getting ready to take off to Asia. 

This plane doesn’t have any seats, so Ryan randomly sits down and pulls Brendon down with him. Dallon and Nicole don’t go too far away...just a couple of feet. Brendon leans his head on Ryan’s shoulder. 

“I’m scared,” he whispers to Ryan’s surprise. Brendon isn’t the kind of person who willingly talks about his feelings.

“Me too,” Ryan admits. It’s the honest truth. He’s scared out of his mind, and there isn’t anything anyone can do about it. They’re going to war, so they have a valid reason, ya know? “Does your book say anything about how those men felt when they were going to war?”

Brendon shakes his head. “No. I wish it did. Think of how much easier everything would be,” he says softly. His statement wasn’t meant to be something for Ryan to think about, but he does anyway. 

The bay doors on the airplane close, and the engines rumble to life. Here they go again... Ryan squeezes his eyes closed as the airplane takes off. When they’re off the ground, he opens his eyes. “Brendon?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you think we’re going to do first when we get there?”

Brendon is silent for a few seconds while he thinks. “Probably go to a base. Then, plan stuff? I don’t know what to expect, and it’s starting to bother me, ya know? We’re-well at least I am so used to knowing exactly what is going on, but now we know nothing,” Brendon admits. 

“I know what you mean. Jon usually just tells us what to do, but I'm not even sure he knows what’s going on.”

“He did sign that damn paper,” Brendon mutters under his breath. He scowls at the floor.

“He did. So, do you think he was telling the truth? About not knowing what the form was really saying?”

Brendon shrugs. His scowl dissipates into a blank stare. “I don’t know, but I think it’s complete crap that he couldn’t get us out of it. I mean, yeah, it’s a legal document, but there is almost always a way out of those. When my brother came home, he was about a year early, so he obviously got out of his contract.”

“Wait. A year early? Like, he came home a year early?”

Brendon nods his head. “Yeah. I guess he made some shit up about having an expecting wife. It’s not a bad lie, but that’s the kind of stuff that got people out of World War 2. For the most part. I just don’t think it’s fair that he got to come home early,” Brendon explains. It’s reasonable too; watching someone who willingly signed up for the war come home early...it doesn’t settle right. 

“I wish we could make up something like that.’’

“We kind of did, only it was real.”

“What do you mean?” Ryan asks. Brendon shrugs.

“My family...your family. We took care of them, ya know? I just wish that we could get a pass out of this.”

“Even if we could, the contract probably says we can’t. And that’s the thing I don’t get. Why did we get chosen for this? Why send kids, who have responsibilities at home, to a war that they probably won’t come home from? It’s not fair, Brendon,” Ryan all but shouts. He drops his head into his hands. 

“Nothing is ever fair,” Brendon mumbles. If he said anything else, Ryan didn’t hear him. He drifts into a restless sleep.

***

Ryan wakes up by Brendon shaking his shoulder. Slowly, he opens his eyes. They’re still in the plane, but they’re descending. 

“Jon just came by. He said we’re landing soon,” Brendon whispers as he watches Ryan sit up. His muscles are sore from laying on the metal floor. 

“Did he say where we’re landing?” Ryan somewhat slurs. He must look as bad as he sounds. He can feel that part of his hair is sticking to the side of his face. Brendon shakes his head. 

“No. All he said was that we’re landing in about ten minutes...so I guess we should be landing now,” Brendon says right as the plane wheels hit the ground. Ryan wants to laugh at how good of timing that was, but he can’t bring himself too. Brendon stands up, and offers Ryan a hand. He accepts, and lets Brendon pull him up. When Ryan lets go of his hand, he misses it. He misses the callouses on his hand. But why? He briefly shakes his head to clear the thought. He can’t think about that right now. Both of them bend down, and grab their bags. 

“When you get off this plane, you will be escorted off of the tarmac. Your pack needs to stay on your back until you are ordered otherwise. Further instruction will be told in the mess hall,” Jon yells as the bay doors are opening. Jon already has his full uniform on with his pack securely fit over his shoulders. “Attention!” Jon yells. Everyone scrambles to get into a straight line. Brendon drags Ryan so they’re standing in the middle of the line. Gerard, Frank, Mikey, and Dallon are all standing behind them. 

Ryan hates to stand at attention. His back has to be straight. His shoulders back. Arms straight down by his side. Feet together. Chin up. Eyes focused on Jon. It’s awful because it starts to hurt after a while. And sure, he should be used to it by now, but he isn’t. 

“Move out!” Jon shouts over the engines of the plane. Nicole, who is standing in front of him, starts to jog forward, so Ryan follows. As he runs off of the plane, wind from the engines blows his hair across his face. And that’s the other shitty part...he can’t fix it until he is dismissed from attention. He follows Nicole out into the cool, misty air outside of the aircraft. He briefly looks around him. There are buildings surrounding the airstrip, but not all of them are hangars. They look like they’re houses. A neighborhood, maybe. 

“Hold!” a voice shouts from what sounds like a speaker, so Ryan stops jogging. He peers around Nicole, and he sees an old terminal. Clearly it hadn’t been open to the public for a long time because dirt and grime had started to creep up the sides of the building. Chunks of the wall were either gone, or falling off. A voice startles Ryan back to attention.

“Welcome to London, ladies and gentlemen. I am Sergeant Dan Reynolds,” the same man shouts. He’s tall with light colored hair, Ryan notices. “You will be staying in the Premiern. Your basic necessities will be in your rooms,” Dan shouts. He glances over them as he walks down their line. It’s like he’s inspecting them. “Any questions?”

Spencer raises his hand. Dan nods his head as an approval to speak. “Sir, where will we be staying? Together, or split up?” Spencer asks, and Ryan is just happy that Spencer remembered to be formal. God only knows what Dan would do if Spencer didn’t use formality. 

“You will be staying in the barracks. The women in your group will have separate showers. If you will follow me, I’ll show you your barracks,” Dan says as he walks into the old building. Ryan follows obediently. Behind him, he feels Brendon grab his hip. It startles him. He’s not expecting Brendon to do that. Why would he? There is no reason too.

“The fuck, Brendon?” Ryan hisses, hoping that he’s quiet enough that Dan won’t hear him. Thankfully, he doesn’t. Brendon drops his hand like he was touching fire. 

“Sorry.” Ryan hears him mumble. 

“You can break attention!” Jon shouts from the front of the line as they file into a big room. Ryan looks around. Along one of the walls, there is a row of bunk beds with footlockers at the end of every one of them. “This is where you will be staying until further notice. The bathrooms are through that door over there,” Jon says as he points to a set of doors, that at one point was a public bathroom. 

“Brendon, what the fuck!” Ryan hisses again as he grabs Brendon’s wrist and drags him to the bathroom. Brendon willingly lets Ryan pull him. Once they’re inside the grimy room Ryan throws down Brendon’s wrist. “Look at me. Why in the hell did you grab my hip?”

Brendon looks at Ryan with pink-stained cheeks. “I don’t know. I-It was like an impulse,” Brendon mumbles. Ryan walks to him so they are barely a foot apart. 

“That’s not a complete answer,” Ryan says quietly, but sternly. Brendon takes a half-step away from him. He’s noticeably taller than Brendon, even if its only by a couple inches.

“I said it was an impulse.” Brendon tries to sound confident, but his voice waivers. 

“Bullshit.”

“I swear to god, Ryan. It was a damn impulse, and clearly it pissed you off, so why don’t we drop this?” Brendon nearly shouts. He glares at Ryan, who wears a blank expression on his face. Why does Brendon think he’s pissed that he put his hand on his hip? Sure, it caught him off guard, but it didn’t make him mad. No, it only made him question Brendon’s intentions.

“Why would you think I’m mad?”

“Why else would you drag me into the bathroom? Because I’m sure as hell that you didn’t do it-” Brendon says, but cuts himself off, and blushes even harder as he looks away from Ryan’s face. Now Ryan is genuinely confused. What did Brendon think Ryan was going to do to him? He hopes that his friend knows that he’d never hurt him. If Brendon did think that, he feels awful he made him feel that way. 

“What did you think I was going to do? Because I’d never hurt you, Brendon. Ever.”

Brendon looks back up at him; his pinks are still tinted pink. “I don’t know what I expected, Ryan. I do know that what I had hoped would happen, isn’t going too. But I know that you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“That means that you expected something,” Ryan prompts. He wants to know what’s going on in his friend’s head. Clearly he was hoping for something...but what? Ryan racks his brain for any possible answer, and he comes up with one. But that can’t be right...

“No. It means that I was hoping for something.”

“Then tell me,” Ryan urges. Brendon, closes the distance between them and plants his lips on Ryan’s. Their lips are together for only a couple of seconds before Brendon pushes himself away from his friend. He runs out of the door. 

That was not what he was expecting by any means...but that was the one possibility he came up with. Brendon likes him, and Ryan doesn’t like him back. Except, if that were true, then why did he enjoy the kiss?


	5. Chapter 5

Ryan walks out of the bathroom a couple minutes after Brendon does. Outside of the bathroom, he sees Brendon laying on his bed, and Dallon talking to Gerard and Frank. He doesn’t know where to go. He wants to talk to Brendon, but he feels weird after their kiss. He doesn’t know what the hell happened when Brendon kissed him. It’s like he was fine with being friends with him, and now, there’s a tiny piece of his brain that tells him that he wants more than just a friendship. 

Someone slaps a hand on his shoulder, which scares the crap out of him. His heart races as he jumps away from the hand.

“Fuck! That scared me,” Ryan sighs. He sees Gerard smile as he moves his arm back down to his side. He didn’t realize that Gerard had walked away from Frank and Dallon. 

“Sorry. You seem kind of distant. You good?” Gerard asks. He seems to genuinely care. That’s odd for anyone in the military to care, but it’s a nice change.

“Oh, um. Yeah. Just something happened, and I don’t really know how I feel,” Ryan explains. His cheeks turn pink as he remembers Brendon’s lips on his. 

“Do you wanna talk about it? Jon and I have to go back to the airstrip to talk to Dan about what will happen going forwards. We could talk on the way?” Gerard suggests. He looks hopeful that Ryan will take up his offer. So, he does. 

“Sure,” Ryan answers. He glances at Brendon, who is still laying down. He looks like he’s asleep, but Ryan figures he’s not. There’s no way he could just sleep after what just happened. Ryan’s heart is still racing. Maybe he’s replaying what he did...at least, that’s why Ryan would do. Hell, that is what he’s doing. 

“All right. Let’s go then. Jon already left, so it’ll be just us,” Gerard says as he walks out of the dorm. The old hotel is surprisingly well lit, which means that they probably cut some of the electricity from the top floors. It’s still overcast outside, but Ryan doesn’t mind. As soon as they start walking away from the hotel Gerard asks, “So, what happened?” 

“Brendon kissed me in the bathroom,” Ryan replies. His cheeks heat up as he remembers it. He can’t lie about the fact that it was a damn good kiss; probably one of the best he’s ever had, and the kiss didn’t even last for more than a couple seconds. 

“Wait, what?” Gerard asks in disbelief. Ryan doesn’t know if he’s surprised at the fact that someone kissed Ryan, or that he got kissed by a boy. Then, he starts to panic. What if Gerard doesn’t like that Brendon kissed him? Is he homophobic? 

“Yeah, I dragged him in there because he grabbed my waist, and I told him to tell my why, and he did that,” Ryan explains. 

“Damn, I didn’t expect that.”

“Neither did I.”

“Did you want something like that to happen?”

“What do you mean?” Ryan asks as they make it to what used to be a parking lot at the airport. He wonders why they’re in London. Shouldn’t they be in Asia, like the President said?

“Is that why you dragged him into the bathroom?” Gerard clarifies. Ryan shakes his head. That wasn’t even a thought when he dragged Brendon in there. All he wanted to know was why he did that. He had no ulterior motive. Maybe Brendon did. Or maybe he’d been meaning to tell Ryan for a while, and that was the perfect opportunity. 

“Hell no. I’m not gay, Gerard,” Ryan says unconvincingly. 

“I’m not so sure about that.”

“I’m really not!” he protests. It’s true. He isn’t gay. But, he has to wonder how true that really is. He liked that kiss more than he should have, but that doesn’t mean he’s gay...

“Did you like it?”

“Well, no. I don’t like men, so I wouldn’t like it.”

“You’re an idiot. Did you like it or not?”

Ryan sighs loudly to show that he’s annoyed. “I did like it. But what does it mean? Does it mean that I liked the kiss, or what?” Ryan asks. He doesn’t know how to feel. Brendon is his best friend. He has been for years. 

“I don’t know how you feel about Brendon. That’s what you need to figure out,” Gerard says as a matter of fact. Ryan looks at him. 

“Have you had to do that before?” Gerard nods his head. They’re now standing in front of the hangar, but Gerard doesn’t go in.

“I have. With Frank, actually. I had to find the balls to tell him, but I knew he was gay before then,” Gerard explains. He looks sympathetic. So he does understand how he feels. It’s weird for him to consider if he has feelings for Brendon, but at the same time...it’s almost nice. He can think of how pretty his eyes are, or how toned his body is without feeling weird. 

“Are you two together?” 

“Yup. We have been for almost two years. We should probably go in now. But hey, it’s not easy to figure out. Think about it, but whatever you do, do not hurt him, Ryan,” Gerard threatens, suddenly serious. Ryan is a little hurt. Did Gerard really think that he’d hurt his best friend?

“I would nev-”

“I don’t mean physically. I meant emotionally. This shit may be hard, but being led on by someone who doesn’t exactly know how they feel...that shit is ten times worse. Now, let’s go,” Gerard replies as they start walking into the hangar. This one is different than the ones he’s been too. This one was left as a plane hangar, but with some tables set up in the far-right corner. Jon is standing over one of the tables. He doesn’t notice them as they approach. 

“Hi Jon,” Ryan says quietly. He looks up at Gerard and Ryan. In all honesty, Ryan doesn’t want to stop talking about how he feels. It’s nice to finally talk about this, even if he’s still figuring out how he feels about Brendon. 

“It’s about damn time,” Jon says, but he doesn’t sound angry. He looks like he’s stressed out, and quite frankly, so does Gerard. “Dan hasn’t shown up yet, so I can say this. We can’t trust him. The President has ordered that we kill the Prime Minister, but Dan is saying that he’s an ally,” Jon explains. He looks at both of them with a concerned expression. 

“Then why is Dan helping us? Wouldn’t he just attack us?” Ryan asks hesitantly. He looks Jon right in the face. None of this can be right. Britain is an ally, and has been since the first World Wars...what changed? 

“I don’t know. Our orders are from the President, so that means what he says is final. Tomorrow, Dan is going to take us to the Prime Minister. That’s when we’ll assassinate him. Ryan, you’ll take two people to go with you to scout the area for a place to set up your sniper. Whoever you take, make sure they’re a good shot, because we can’t mess this up,” Jon explains. He glances over Gerard’s shoulder. “Dan is coming. Act like he’s our ally,” Jon hisses. 

“Hey guys!” Dan says. He’s slightly smiling, and it makes Ryan’s insides coil. He wants to be an ally with Dan. The guy is carefree, but still professional when he needs to be. If things were different, he could see them possibly being friends. 

“Hey,” Gerard says lightly; as if he hadn’t heard what Jon had just told them. 

“I just got clearance for us to take trucks to the Palace. Weapons are allowed, but once inside the Palace, they’ll have to be briefly inspected. Oh, and food will be taken care of. The Prime Minister has set up farming sanctions, so we still have a steady intake of crops,” Dan explains. Ryan nods his head in acknowledgement. 

“I think we only need one truck. Not all of my squad will be going tomorrow. I’m sending some of them to scout the city. The President wants footage of it,” Jon lies. For a second, Ryan believes him. 

Dan nods his head. “Okay, I’ll make the adjustments. It’s getting dark, so we should head back to the Premiern. I need to finish up some paperwork, and find you some maps for tomorrow,” Dan replies. He takes a document out of his pocket and folds it on the table. Ryan tries to look at what it says, and can barely make out some of the words.

International Alliance Conference  
29 August 2049  
England-France-Unite...

That makes no sense at all. Why would Dan have a document from the IAC? He’s not a high enough rank to go to those meetings. Well, that’s not entirely true. Dan could a high enough rank to go, and he could be lying to them about it. Ryan glances at Jon and Gerard to see if they saw it too. Jon glances back at him with a look that he saw it too. 

“Sounds good. We’ll see you tomorrow,” Gerard answers for Jon, after noticing that he’s distracted. Dan solutes them, and turns to walk away. Once he’s gone, Ryan sighs. This isn’t good. The President is telling them to kill people who think that they’re allies with. Jon, Gerard, and Ryan all walk out of the hangar in silence. It’s almost completely dark outside. No one talks as they walk back to the Premier. Before they get to the doors, Ryan pushes ahead of them. He wants to tell Brendon what just happened before Jon does. The dorm they’re staying in is warm, compared to the cool air outside. His heart seems to skip a beat as his eyes find Brendon. He’s still on his bunk, but he’s reading his Band of Brother’s book. He jogs to him. Brendon eyes him from his book.

“Can I help you?” Brendon asks. He sounds like he’s bored. It kind of crushes Ryan that Brendon isn’t...interested in what he has to say. It is kind of expected after what happened between them earlier. 

“I-” What exactly did Ryan think he was going to say? Jon is definitely going to tell them all what’s going on. “I don’t know,” Ryan says dejectedly. Brendon closes his book. Now he seems to be interested?

“Sit down,” he says. Ryan listens. The bed dips as he sits on it. Ryan looks at Brendon, waiting for him to say or do anything. His friend looks down at the book. “I’m sorry about earlier. It was uncalled for. I intruded on your space, and I’m sorry,” Brendon says. His cheeks turn a little pink. Ryan doesn’t look away from him. He can hear what Gerard was telling him. 

He hates to admit that everything Gerard told him is right. He did like the kiss. He wouldn’t lead on his best friend. He doesn’t know how he feels about Brendon in that way, but he does know that Brendon isn’t in the wrong here. He shouldn’t be the one apologizing. 

“Brendon...you don’t have to apologize. I shouldn’t have led you on like that. I’m the one who should be sorry,” Ryan says quietly. He looks down at his hands. 

“What are you talking about, Ryan? You never led me on. I was-I guess I was expecting something that isn’t a possibility. It’s fine. I’ve done it before...Thinking something was possible when its really not,” Brendon replies sincerely. 

He was expecting something that wasn’t a possibility? What-? Oh...Oh. That wasn’t something he was expecting. “It’s a possibility,” Ryan whispers as he understands what Brendon was talking about. He doesn’t know what made him say that, but he knows it is true. 

Brendon’s eyes widen while Ryan blushes. “What?” Brendon asks. Ryan wants to punch himself. This isn’t what he wanted to talk to Brendon about but-he's happy with it. He’s happy that he’s being honest with himself and Brendon. 

“It’s a possibility, Brendon. But I-I need time to think about this. I’m not...I’ve never liked a boy before,” Ryan explains. He feels bad that he told Brendon it’s a possibility-and that’s true. But he hasn’t ever liked boys before. It’s new...different. Hell, it’s really fucking scary to know something your whole life, and then not know.

Brendon nods his head, and shyly smiles. “I understand. I’ll be here, though. When you’re ready. So...what did you want to tell me?” he asks. 

“I wanted to tell you that Dan isn’t our ally. Tomorrow, some of us won’t be going to see the Prime Minister, but-Jon should be in here by now,” Ryan says. He stands up off the bed, and scans the room. Jon is standing in the doorway of the room with Gerard. Neither of them are talking, but Ryan can tell that there’s something between them. Something is off. 

“Why isn’t Dan our ally?” Brendon asks softly. Ryan looks at him, then back to Jon. Why hasn’t Jon said anything yet? 

“Jon said something about how we aren’t allies with Britain. I don’t really know...” Ryan trails off. He watches as Jon and Gerard walk to the middle of the dorm. 

“Hey! Listen up!” Gerard shouts so he gets everyone’s attention. The quiet chatter in the room stops. “Tomorrow, only some of you will be going to the Prime Minister. Ryan, can you choose the people you want to go with you.”

Ryan can feel everyone in the room looking at him. “I want Brendon, Dallon, Nicole, and Gerard,” Ryan answers. 

“Why does Ryan get to choose? And where are they going?” Sarah asks. Ryan wants to punch her. She’s always been like this-demanding to know things. During ROTC, Jon would constantly put her in her place. This-is hopefully one of those times. 

“He gets to choose because I put him in a position to. Where they are going is not relative to you,” Jon snaps. “Ryan, take your group outside. The lights are on. The rest of you, come with me.” 

Ryan walks out of the dorm, with his group following him. Once they’re outside, Ryan takes a deep breath. It was suffocating in that room. 

“Why aren’t we going to the Prime Minister?” Dallon asks. Everyone shifts uncomfortably. He looks at Gerard, who briefly nods his head. 

“We’re going to assassinate him,” Ryan says quietly. Gerard is the only person to not react.

“Why would we assassinate our ally? What about the Queen?” Nicole asks in bewilderment. Dallon and Brendon just stand there with their mouths slightly open. Before Ryan can say anything, Gerard answers.

“We’re assassinating her too. Tomorrow, before the Prime Minister is meeting with us, he’s going to breakfast with the Queen at the Palace,” Gerard explains. He says it like it’s the most normal thing, and it almost bothers him. 

“I thought they were our allies. What happened?” Brendon asks. 

“I don’t know, but it’s the President’s orders,” Gerard says as he turns to Ryan. “This is your mission, Ryan. Don’t fuck up.” 

He knows Gerard means it as a joke, but at the same time, he’s right. Ryan can’t fuck this up.


	6. Chapter 6

Ryan couldn’t sleep at all. His keeps on thinking about what it’s going to be like when the Prime Minister and the Queen are dead. Will the British Army know that they did it, or would they suspect rebels? It makes him uneasy because of how easy they could get caught. By the time the sun is rising, Ryan has gotten maybe an hour of sleep. He’s standing in the kitchen area of the dorm with his back to the door. Part of him wants to make real food. The other part of him thinks he might throw it up. 

“Did you sleep at all?” Nicole asks from behind him. He turns around and leans against the counter. 

“No. Did you?” he asks, even though he knows what she’s going to say. He would be surprised if anyone slept well-except for Jon since he’s been in war before. 

She shakes her head no. “I wish I did. I’m super nervous. What if we get caught?” 

That was something that he thought about. They learned in history classes and in ROTC that when there were prisoners of war, most of them were killed. 

“I don’t know. I just want to get this over with,” he admits. He wants to get it done and over with because it’s all he can think about now. The Prime Minister and the Queen have never been against America, so what’s changed? The only war that Ryan can think of that they’ve been enemies was the American Revolution. In the first World Wars, and even in the this one now, they’ve been allies. 

“So do I,” Brendon says as he walks in the room with disheveled hair. He’s still wearing his sleeping clothes. “So, what are we going to do until we leave? Wait, what time are we leaving?”

Ryan shrugs as he checks his watch. 6:19am. Hopefully Gerard and Dallon will be up soon so they can figure out when they should leave. Part of Ryan starts to panic at not knowing exactly is going to happen. This isn’t the kind of thing he’s used too. He doesn’t plan things...it’s not his type of thing to do. It’s Jon’s or Gerard’s. 

“No. Gerard didn’t tell me anything last night. Nicole, can you get Dallon and Gerard? I need to talk to Brendon for a second,” Ryan says. He doesn’t need to tell him anything important; just something he’s been thinking about.

“Sure,” Nicole says. She leaves the room, leaving Brendon and Ryan alone. 

“So-what do you...?” Brendon trails off. He looks nervous-like Ryan is going to tell him something bad. 

“Just-if anything happens today...just know that this is our job,” Ryan says unconvincingly. At this point he’s just trying to convince himself that he knows what he’s doing. Sure-he's been trained to kill; he knows how to survive when the odds seem to be against him. He knows how to do this...but it’s really fucking nerve-racking. 

“Do you really think something is going to happen to us?” Brendon asks. He still looks unsure. He takes a few steps towards Ryan. “Because I think we’ll be fine. We’ve been trained and-I know that we’ve never done this, but we know how to.” He takes another step towards him until they’re only a few feet apart. “We’ll all be fine, Ryan. And I hope to whatever god is out there, that something will come from us,” he whispers. That pisses Ryan off a little, and he doesn’t know why. 

“Fucking hell, Brendon. I’m not focusing on us right now. When we’re done with this shit...yes-I’ll think about it. And deep down, I know that we’ll be fine. I know that. But I'm scared, Brendon. I’m scared that I won’t be able to see my family again-that something is going to happen to them because I wasn’t there. I just want everything to be okay,” he admits in a whisper. He doesn’t know where it all comes from, but he’s happy it’s off of his chest. 

“I’m not worried about us right now either. I just hope something comes from it. But you’re right,” he admits. “I’m scared too. We both had to leave our families,” Brendon continues. He takes a step back from Ryan. “I should probably put on my uniform. I’ll be back,” Brendon says as he walks out of the room. Shortly, Dallon, Gerard, and Nicole all come in. 

“You ready, Ryan?” Gerard asks. His hair is wet, so he must have just taken a shower. His uniform is on with all of his weapons, which include a rifle, hand-gun, a leg strap knife, and a belt strap knife. Ryan wishes he could have brought his knife from home. It’s one of the last things his mom gave him before she died. It’s safely sitting on his bed, under his pillow. 

“Not really,” he murmurs. He knows that he should be ready...or at least fake that he’s ready. 

“Well, you’re going to have to be, because we leave in-” Gerard checks his watch. “-As soon as Brendon gets in here. We’ll find food at a vendor on the way. “

Brendon then walks into the room. “What about weapons?” he asks. His boots aren’t tied all the way, but that was normal for Brendon....Loose boots. 

“They’re outside in a duffel bag. When you pass it, grab one,” Gerard instructs. Ryan looks at his friends. All of them have some kind of fear on their face. Nicole and Dallon look like they’re going to be sick, Brendon looks pale, Gerard seems anxious more than anything, and Ryan knows he looks pale, and sickly. He can basically feel the bags under his eyes. 

“Let’s go then,” Ryan says gravely. He doesn’t mean to sound to depressed and upset, it just happened. They make their way out of the dorm-and true to Gerard’s word, there is a duffel bag full of M017 Semi-Automatic Long Range Sinper Rifles. “Damn,” he says as he picks one up. He’s only used a gun like this once before. 

“You can say that again,” Brendon mumbles. After everyone has a gun, Gerard starts walking away from the dorm and the airport. 

“Listen up. We’re going to a small café about two miles from here. That’s where the Prime Minister is meeting the Queen. About a block before the café, we will try to go the rest of the way on the rooftops so no one can see us. Remember-we are just scouting. That’s it,” Gerard says. He stays by the side of the road, even though there aren’t any cars around. 

“How do we make sure no one catches us? If we aren’t meeting with the Prime Minister, wouldn’t we look like suspects?” Brendon asks. He looks at him just as he kicks a pebble against the building wall. And, for just a moment, he wishes that they weren’t in London getting ready to murder someone. 

“We’ll say that we saw it happen, but they got away,” Gerard answers. Ryan wants to tell him that it’s too easy of a lie. He can’t recall a single time where someone got away with saying that. What makes it worse, is that they’re in the army, and they’re about to break multiple treaties, and then proceed to lie about it. He starts to feel anxious, though it’s nothing more than thoughts. Nicole walks up to him. 

“Hey,” she says. Ryan glances at her. She’s looking straight ahead; focused on nothing in particular. 

“Hi.”

“I know why you and Brendon were talking this morning,” Nicole states. Ryan’s heart drops. He can’t deal with this right now. People can’t know about him liking Brendon.

“Why’s that?”

“You were talking about what happened last night in the bathroom. And, Ryan-it's okay to like boys,” Nicole says quietly. Ryan wants to die. He doesn’t want people to know. How the hell does Nicole even know? He’s only told Gerard and Brendon. That’s it. 

“How do you know about that?” Ryan grits out. He feels his anger rising. Brendon looks back at them, and gives Ryan a worried look. He just glares forward. This isn’t how this was supposed to go. He was supposed to tell people when he’s ready. Yet-that's not happening. Brendon stops walking so he’s caught up with Ryan and Nicole. 

“It was obvious, Ryan,” Nicole answers quietly. “And, I’ve always had a feeling.”

Brendon looks at him again. “Ryan?” he asks calmly. 

“What?” Ryan snaps. Nicole gives him a brief smile before she jogs up to Gerard and Dallon. 

“What got you so pissed off?” Brendon asks, but Ryan has a feeling that Brendon already knows why he’s pissed. 

With Brendon, he’s always been open about who he likes. He’s proud of it. Ryan is the complete opposite. He never says who he likes, and he keeps to himself about those kinds of things. The only real girlfriend he’s had was Elizabeth. Before they dated, they were friends...best friends. So, when Elizabeth kissed him, he was confused at first. But, he liked the idea of being with her. She was his home...warm, nice, and hopeful. 

But with all of their past, he’s never mentioned it to anyone. Sure, his friends knew he’s had a girlfriend, but they don’t know who, and what happened. And Ryan full heartedly believes that it should stay that way. Towards the end of their relationship, things went bad...to the point where it left Ryan broken in many ways. To tell anyone about that, he’d have to relive it. And he can’t do that. 

“Nicole knows about what happened,” Ryan answers. Part of him doesn’t want to tell Brendon, because he doesn’t know how he’ll react. 

“I figured. Ryan, Nicole always figures stuff out. But, I know that she won’t care about this,” Brendon replies. Ryan feels better, now that he knows Brendon is okay with her knowing. It’s still weird for him. He’s never had a secret like this; where if people knew about it, they would hate you and treat you like shit. 

“I still feel kind of weird about this. I’ve never done this before,” Ryan admits to his friend. Brendon glances at him. 

“You’ll feel better. Most people are nervous about this in the beginning. But, I don’t think you should be focusing on this right now,” Brendon explains grimly. Ryan feels the underlying emotion behind what he’s saying. 

“Because we’re on our way to kill someone?” Ryan guesses. Brendon nods his head. 

“Yes. When we’re done-”

Ahead of them, Gerard stops. “We’re going on the roofs now,” Gerard says as he climbs up a ladder. As Ryan is climbing up the ladder, he sees people looking out of their windows. Their faces are hollow, and pale. And it dawns on him. This ladder probably leads to peoples houses. And, as he climbs over the top of the ladder, he sees tents. All over the roofs of the buildings around him. 

“This is why you should wait,” Brendon mutters, beside Ryan. And, he’s right. Out of everything he’s been taught about the war-this was not included. This looks like the kind of stuff they learned about when they talked about Hoovervilles. Ryan guesses that most, or all, of these people are homeless. Some, poke their heads out of their tents to see who has come up. 

“Yeah.” Ryan agrees softly. Ahead of them, Gerard walks through the maze of tents. So, that means that everyone has to follow him. He knows that they’re close. It’s weird because it’s like he can sense it. He can sense the air getting heavier as they get closer to the Prime Minister and Queen. It doesn’t take them long to get to the edge of the buildings. And, as Ryan peers over the side, he sees them. They seem so unaware...so focused on nothing around them. It almost makes Ryan sad. 

Gerard pulls his gun off of his shoulder to set it on the ground. “Ryan, this is your mission, Jon only wanted me to lead us here. Who do you want to take the second shot?” Gerard asks. 

Ryan doesn’t want to answer because he knows the weight of killing someone. He knows what it’s like to carry that shit around. When he was a freshman in high school, he killed a kid that he went to school with. It started off with the kid, which Ryan doesn’t even remember his name, beating up Brendon. At the time, Ryan had no idea who Brendon or the kid was. All he knew was that Brendon was gay, and that’s why he was getting beat up. So, he stepped in, and stabbed the kid in the thigh. He didn’t know that he stabbed him in his femoral artery. He bled to death before Ryan could even start to bandage Brendon’s wounds. 

“I don’t know.. Who wants to?” Ryan asks.

Brendon takes a tiny step towards Ryan. “I’ll do it. So.. Well- I owe you for freshman year,” Brendon explains. Ryan immediately understands why he wants to take the shot. 

“Okay. I’ll get the Prime Minister,” Ryan replies. 

“I’ll get the Queen, then,” Brendon says quietly. They both take off of their guns, and load them. Ryan and Brendon aim at their targets. Ryan has the perfect shot. No wind, no sun in their eyes. So, he pulls the trigger. A second shot rings through the air as Brendon pulls his trigger. Ryan and Brendon lower their guns as their targets slump down in their chairs. Blood drips down their faces and necks. Their personal security men scramble to get their guns. 

“We need to move,” Gerard says. His voice is even...calm even. Dallon, and Nicole, are pale. They looked freaked out. More than likely they haven’t seen death like that before. Gerard jogs away from the Queen and Prime Minister with the rest of them following. 

On the way back to their base, Ryan still can’t believe how easy it was for them to kill the leaders of their supposed ally. It doesn’t take them long to reach their base. Frank, Jon, Spencer, Sarah, Mikey, and Ray are all waiting for them. 

“Did you do it?” Jon asks? 

“Yeah. Both of them are dead,” Ryan answers. 

“Good. We already moved all of our things to the plane,” Jon says. 

“We need to leave before they find out what we did. Let’s go,” Frank adds. They all start a fast jog to their cargo plane, which is already on. As they all climb in, the bay doors close. The plane starts to take off, leaving a crime. Leaving death. 

Ryan is sitting against the wall of the plane, with his blanket and pillow. Jon had radioed in to Dan to explain that the Queen and Prime Minister had been murdered, and that they tried to find who did it, but couldn’t. The lie went along perfectly with the fact that Jon and his group had “no idea” what was happening. 

“Ryan?”

He looks up to see Brendon, with his pack in hand. He looks exhausted.

“Sit,” Ryan instructs. Brendon does what Ryan asks. Ryan can feel his heart race when Brendon leans his head on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Just tired,” Brendon says.

“Yeah, me too. You know, you didn’t have to take that shot. You didn’t owe me anything.”

Brendon nods his head and sighs. “I know that I didn’t have to, but you did save my life. And, I know that this wasn’t a life or death situation. I just..it’s the least I could do. That guy you killed freshman year..it was me or him, and I-”

“Hey,” Ryan says as he cups Brendon’s cheek, so Brendon has to look at him. “You didn’t owe me anything then, and you sure as hell don’t owe me anything now,” Ryan finishes. Brendon smiles at him, and they lean in. When their lips touch, Ryan knows that this is how it was meant to be. Brendon was meant for him. And, it’s all he needs to get him through this god damn war.


	7. Chapter 7

Ryan doesn’t know how long they’ve been up in the sky. He does know that Brendon ended up laying his head in Ryan’s lap, and they both slept for a long ass time. He remembers Jon stopping by to tell them that they’ll be landing soon. That was maybe ten minutes ago? He hears the landing gears open, so they’re about 30 or 40 minutes from landing.

Ryan ends up falling asleep, and has to be woken up by Dallon shoving his head.

“Hey,” he protests as he wakes up. He sees that Brendon is still asleep in his lap. Ryan takes it upon himself to flick Brendon’s nose.

“Wake up,” Ryan tells him. Brendon slaps his hand away, and sits up.

“Asshole,” he whispers to Ryan with a smile. He turns to Dallon and asks, “How long have we been flying?”

Dallon shrugs. “I dunno, but we just landed. We’re getting cleared right now. Jon and Gerard were talking about how things are going to be sketchy for us from now on because of what we did in Britain.”

“But why would it matter?” Ryan asks. Dallon shakes his head.

“Unless we’re being sent to our enemies to assassinate them?” Brendon suggests in a whisper. Dallon squats by them.

“If that were the case, then the President is lying to the people about who our allies are,” Dallon replies. Ryan can hear the uncertainty in his voice. If this is true, then why has the American people been lied to? Is it to keep peace? Or is it something else?

“Why would he do that?” Brendon asks. No one answers him because of what the truth may be. Dallon stands up after a few seconds, and Ryan and Brendon follow his lead. The rest of their squad is near the front of the plane with Jon. As they walk up to the front, they see Frank and Gerard leaning against the wall, in conversation.

“Jon,” Dallon says. Jon turns from the soldiers he was talking to.

“Good, you all are here. I told the rest of the squad a few minutes ago, but we just landed in Russia. We just got clearance to the old embassy. Viktor said that he doesn’t know when the last time there was someone in the embassy, so it may be in partial ruins. Viktor also warned us about a snow storm coming in tonight, so we need to get to the embassy as soon as possible,” Jon explains. Ryan hardly knows anything about Russia. They never learned about it in school because it wasn’t relevant. Now, he wishes he did a little bit of his own research.

“How far is it to the embassy? And if it’s going to snow, we can’t wear our summer fatigues, we’ll freeze,” Brendon asks.

“The embassy is about an hour from here, but the storm will be here in maybe thirty minutes. And as for fatigues, the embassy should have spare uniforms, but we have spare blankets and clothing on the plane we can take with us,” Jon explains. Ryan knows that there is a slim chance that the embassy will have fatigues. People probably looted it as soon as the soldiers left.

“Okay, are we taking a vehicle?” Ryan asks.

“Yes. Viktor is taking us in an old airport shuttle. That way we can take more extra supplies,” Jon replies.

“Okay, then we should probably leave then. I don’t like how those clouds look,” Nicole says as she walks up to them.

“Viktor is done loading the shuttle. We can leave now!” Gerard shouts from a couple feet away.

“Alright. We should go then,” Ryan says as he walks towards the shuttle. This feels very similar to England...minus the weather. This is only their second stop, but it feels like their tenth. He’s already done with this whole thing. He takes a seat in the back of the bus, hoping that no one follows him back there. Thankfully, Brendon sits across the isle from him.

Viktor starts to drive away from the airport, and Ryan glances at Brendon, who isn’t paying attention to him. He then looks back to his bag, and opens it. He rummages for a second before he finds what he’s looking for. He pulls out his mother’s knife. He remembers when his mother gave it to him.

_“Ryan?” his mother calls from their back porch. Ryan runs to her, leaving his book under the big Maple tree in their backyard._

_“Hi mommy,” Ryan greets his mom with a huge smile._

_“Hey, baby. I have something for you. I got it the first time I fought in the war. Do you want to see it?”_

_Ryan holds out his open palms, so his mother can put his gift in it. She places a sheathed knife in his hands. He never realized that a knife would be heavy. He gently grasps the leather sheath, and pulls the knife out. The blade shines in the sunlight. His mother tilts the blade in his hands so the other side is facing him. At the very bottom, near the hilt is a small inscription._

_“Would you like to know what it says?” she asks._

_Ryan nods eagerly._

_“It says...Victory stands on the back of sacrifice.”_

_“What does it mean?”_

_His mother chuckles, which Ryan doesn’t understand why. “It means that when we win this war, millions have died for it.”_   
  
_“So people die so the good guys can win?”_

_“In a way...yes, I suppose they do.”_

Looking back, Ryan wishes that he was still that naïve. That it was just ‘people dying so the good guys can win.’ He also wishes that his mother didn’t become one of the sacrifices for victory. He slides the knife back into his bag, and waits for them to arrive at their new stop.

After a little while, Viktor stops the shuttle. Everyone knows the drill by now, so they grab their stuff and shuffle out. A bitter wind seems to slice through the air while it also brings snowflakes.

“The storm is upon us. Inside, the heat works in the kitchen, and second floor. Everything should also be in good condition. Best of luck to you,” Viktor tells them before he speeds off back to god only knows where.

Ryan and Brendon are the first people inside the Embassy. The grey walls seem to highlight the shitty weather outside. The main entry is just as cold as it is outside. Ryan prays that Viktor was right about the heat working. He absent mindedly wanders through the building. He doesn’t care if anyone follows him...in fact. He hopes no one does. It’s nice to be alone..even if it’s in an abandoned embassy.

The empty halls remind him of his home of all places. Because once his mother died, his dad took down all the pictures, and put them in a box with the rest of her things. He supposes it was just a reminder of her. But, Ryan missed seeing those pictures, because to him, it reminded him of the happiness he felt with her...not that she was gone and never coming back.

It’s hard for him to understand why his father did the things he did. He still doesn’t know why he practically abandoned his son. From a young age, Ryan had to take care of himself, simply because his father couldn’t find the will to get up off of his couch.

As Ryan wanders back to where he thinks the kitchen is, he sees an office with the door open, so he obviously goes inside. The only thing on the desk is a single piece of paper. He looks at it, and almost wishes he didn’t.

** International Alliance Conference **

** 06 December 2033 **

** France-England-United States of America-Russia-Canada **

****

**At 0400 on December 5 th, three bombs were dropped on the city of Paris. We are still assessing the the casualties. We are still assessing the damage done, but we are officially asking for a declaration of war against Germany, and their allies. We also ask for troops to be deployed to Paris and surrounding areas so that we have the numbers to fight back.**

**France**

This must have been when his mother got sent to war. Well...officially. Ryan remembers hearing about how Germany and China were seen gathering troops. That was well over thirty years ago, which is why some people consider the third world war to have started then. But why would this document say that England and Russia are our allies? They haven’t been our allies since... Well, no one actually knows. Ryan just remembers being told that they weren’t our allies. So, what happened?

He grabs the paper off of the desk, and beings it to the kitchen, were everyone is. He immediately sees Brendon and Dallon standing together.

‘’Hey, look at this,” Ryan says as he shows them the paper. Brendon takes it from his hands, so him and Dallon can see it better.

“Holy shit. Do you think this is legit? Or..I dunno, something to make us second guess everything?” Dallon asks.

“I just found it in an old office.”

“It could be. I’d ask Gerard or Jon about it. They probably know more than we do,” Brendon tells him as he hands the paper back to him.

“I will. Wanna come with me?” Ryan asks. It seems like a dumb question to ask, especially since everyone is stuck in the building.

Brendon shrugs. “Sure. Maybe while we’re here, we could research the war. You know..see if that paper actually has meaning.”

Together, the boys walk up to Gerard, who is currently playing cards with Frank and Jon. They all stop to look at them. Ryan feels slightly weird about showing them the document. He doesn’t know why, but it gives him an odd feeling.

“Here. I found this in an old office. Do you think it’s the real thing?” Ryan asks them as he reaches out the document.

Gerard takes it and reads it. “This is almost too informal to be real. But if France sent this when they did because of the bombs, then it would make sense for this to be informal,” Gerard explains as he hands it to Jon and Frank to read.

“Yeah, I agree with Gerard. It’s extremely informal..but with circumstances it makes sense,” Jon says.

“I think it’s odd who France sent this to. Look at names of the countries. Some of them we aren’t allies with,” Frank adds.

“We aren’t allies with any of them..what the fuck?” Gerard whispers.

“What do you mean we’re not allies with any of them? France-” Ryan starts, but Jon cuts him off.

“France bombed us after they were bombed. No one know why they turned on us. I just remember hearing the SOS from New York come through to LA,” Jon tells them. He folds the paper, and hands it back to Gerard.

“You probably weren’t old enough to understand what was going on, but let me guess..Ryan, you remember your mom leaving, and both of you remember hearing the planes?” Frank guesses.

“It explains a lot,” Brendon admits. “My parents never told me anything..did yours Ryan?”

“I knew more than a child should because of my mom...and you know, my dad had to explain why she wasn’t ever going to come home,” Ryan says.

“What’s going on?” Dallon asks as he, Nicole, Sarah and Spencer walk up.

“How much did your parents tell you about the war as kids?” Frank asks. Dallon frowns, but answers anyway.

“They barely told me anything, so I would learn what the hell was going on by myself. Which is a big reason why I was always in trouble with the cops,” Dallon explains.

“What? Since when were you always in trouble with the cops?” Sarah asks in astonishment.

Dallon lets out a curt laugh. “Sarah, when the libraries closed, I’d still go to meet up with people. Either to learn shit about what our world was becoming.”

“How old were you?” Sarah asks.

“Ten. After a couple years, my..contact...stopped coming, and one day Brendon showed up with a hell of a lot of information. But, I’m sorry my parents gave up on me..unlike you,” Dallon explains with a serious tone. Sarah pushes him away from her.

“Bitch! My parents kept me safe from knowing about this war! They wanted to protect me,” she defends.

“Yeah, but when Spencer brought you with him, and we had to explain that the war was not just a minor dispute with Canada. You were fucking clueless!” Brendon hisses at her.

“At least my dad doesn’t beat me and my family,” Sarah sneers at Brendon.

“Calm down!” Jon yells, but no one listens.

“Back the fuck down,” Ryan says as he shoves her away from Brendon, which sends her stumbling into the wall.

“Or what..you’ll kill me?” Sarah taunts.

“If you don’t shut the fuck up I might just do it. You don’t get to talk about Brendon and his family like that. We’re a damn team Sarah, so suck up your damn problems. Everyone else does, and you aren’t any different,” Ryan yells at her. He turns around to ask if Brendon is okay, but he’s gone.

“Ryan, go find Brendon..he took his pack. So take yours too,” Gerard tells him. He nods his head, grabs his pack and walks out of the Embassy. The wind picked up since they got here, and it started snowing.

“Brendon!” Ryan shouts into the swirling wind, but his voice gets carried away.

He’s able to see Brendon’s footprints in the fresh snow. So, he follows them into the cold abyss.

__


End file.
